Ch07d: How to Choose Better Habits

We all have habits, but very few of us make conscious decisions about them before becoming horribly addicted. Then it feels like a major undertaking to be rid of bad habits or a major strain to employ new ones. This article looks at how we can choose better habits through a structured conscious process. This is a worksheet from my book procrastination to motivation, so feel free to print off sections (for personal use) and do the exercise for yourself. Tell me how it goes in the comments section.

How to choose Better Habits

Fill out the Following:

A) Current Situation

Take a moment to think of your biggest life problems. Many people have a one-word summary which jumps to mind as soon ask asked. Take a moment to flesh out the problem with a full sentence. Think of this problem as a result. A result is a physical, measurable product of an action (or actions) which preceded it. What shape does the problem take? How would you measure it? How do you know if there is more or less of it?

People often claim that their problems are mental states (unhappy, low self-esteem, lack of motivation) and have no form. Lack of clarity is part of the problem. To help you with mental problems:

1) Trace the roots of the problem. If you’re unhappy, what are you specifically unhappy about?

2) Consider how your mental state reflects on your external world. Look for something in your environment which changes as your internal state does.

3) Write out the problem as if you were talking to a person who doesn’t believe you. How would you write it in a way so they do? You may have to use a specific example. But now we are providing a few more details to lock on to that problem.

Problem: (What it is) _________________________________

Image: (What it looks like) _________________________________

Gauge: (How I know I have more or less of it) _________________________________

B) Contributing Actions

List the habitual things you do every day which add to your problem.

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C) Opposite Situation

Write down a situation which is an exact opposite of your problem. For example if (A) is “I’m dirt broke” then (C) would be “I’m filthy rich.” An opposite situation means that (A) and (C) cannot exist at the same time.

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D) Better Choices

List down things you can do every day which move toward Situation (C). If you need ideas, look at the habits in (B) and write down their opposites.

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2__________________________________

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5__________________________________

This solution works for problems that stem from habitual sources. It is possible to have problems that appear to stem from events outside your field of control. Politics, war, economic shifts, medical emergencies, being the victim of a crime, or having your house flattened by an earthquake are all examples where your habits have little to do with the outcome. Big problems happen once in a blue moon, while your daily habits make up most of your life. It may not be a “catch all” solution for every problem. Yet even when you are involved in an event beyond your control (being in a war zone), your choices can still have a remarkable impact on how you manage that situation.

Example #1: Health

A) Current Situation:
I’m overweight. I hate looking at myself in a mirror. I feel very self-conscious about my body.

B) Contributing Actions:
1) Bad eating habits, no set meal times and lots of snacks whenever I’m hungry.
2) Eat fast for lunch over 4 times per week.
3) Working at a desk job.
4) Entertainment is sitting on the sofa and watching TV 6 hours every night.

C) Opposite Situation:
I have a super-hot sexy body! I feel great going to the beach with friends.

D) Better Choices:
1) Toss out all snack food and replace it with vegetables: have carrot sticks, celery sticks and sliced apples available to grab and eat.
2) On Sunday night make lunches for the week and put them in the freezer. Grab and go one lunch every day.
3) Work at a desk job (can’t change it) but use the stairs to get to the office instead of the elevator.
4) During break time do 5 minute stretching sessions outside.
5) Drop my stupidest TV show (the time waster show before a good show comes on) and do a 30 minute yoga session instead.

Note: There is no joining a gym, nor attempting another major diet program. These are the typical actions people do to lose weight and are prone to failure because they are seen as a massive undertaking. Try to tweak what you already do, so your daily actions always move you towards that buff sexy body you desire. If it isn’t a big deal, then you are more likely to do it. If you do it often, you will get a massive result from task accumulation. After you have made exercise a part of your regular lifestyle, then you could scale it up by joining a gym or attending a yoga class if you like. Get a small habit going first, then upgrade it.

Example #2: Debt

A) Current Situation:
I am broke. I never have money for anything. I feel terrible and financially insecure all the time.

B) Contributing Actions:
1) I can’t control my spending. My paycheck is gone within the first 2 days of having money in my account.
2) I don’t know where my money is disappearing to each month.
3) I feel that I can’t live without “X.” I have no choice but to buy it.
4) My overdue bills are more than the money I earn.

C) Opposite Situation:
I have lots of money in the bank and I feel financially secure. I can afford to help my friends if they need some. I can be generous.

D) Better Choices:
1) Create a budget plan to ensure my money can last the full 2 weeks till my next pay day.
2) Make a list of everything I buy for 3 days. Figure out where my money is going. Decide to drop activities where I am hemorrhaging cash.
3) I spend too much at Starbucks. Going there twice a day (on work days) I spend about $6 to 8 bucks per visit. This comes to about $300 per month. I can get a very high quality instant coffee (which tastes better) and cut this expense down to about $30 per month, thus saving $270 per month ($3240 per year) which is like a small pay raise… and I don’t even have to give up coffee.
4) Make a list of needs and wants. Make sure you save money for “needs” first and then make a list of top ten “wants.” Open up a separate bank account for my most important “want” and put 10% of my earnings toward purchasing it.
5) Put all my credit cards in a physical safe at home. Leave them there. If something is very important for me to buy, I can go home and get the card then return to buy it. I am consciously making it inconvenient to burn money through impulse purchases.

Example #3: House Cleaning

A) Current Situation:
My house is a pig pen. I am embarrassed to invite friends over. I have to buy lots of new things because I can’t find any of my old items when I need them.

B) Contributing Actions:
1) Leaving laundry out.
2) Not putting stuff away after using it.

C) Opposite Situation:
House is totally clean. I feel good about where I live.

D) Better Choices:
1) Have clear boxes out which you can easily toss similar items into. When the box gets full label it and put it on a shelf. (IE pen box, tool box, computer cables box)
2) Have a big box for donations. If you haven’t used an item for over a year put it in that box. When the box gets full, give it to a charity.
3) Every day, spend 5 to 10 minutes to clean out just one cupboard, one shelf, or one drawer. Move the items into boxes of similar items.
4) Do one maintenance “spray down” job every day. (IE mop the floors, or wipe windows, or de-ice the freezer).

Note: Always break a big job down into smaller bite-sized chunks. Maybe cleaning out the fridge is a very large job. So break it down further: one job is tossing out food, another job is wiping down the inner door, and a third job is cleaning out the shelves. You don’t have to do them all at the same time. Whenever you open the fridge for orange juice, do one of the little 2-5 minute jobs. It never becomes a big deal, never feels like actual work.
You may think “What is the difference? Aren’t you doing the same amount of work, anyway?” Big jobs are a series of small jobs. If you look at a big job as a big job, you will probably not want to do it (as with the messy house story). However if you look at it as “Oh just put this one thing in a box,” or “This desk will take 5 minutes to clean off” the little job becomes less intimidating. It doesn’t have to be done at a special time, you don’t need to schedule it; just do it on a spare moment from a commercial break. After you make a regular habit of doing little jobs, you start doing them without thinking about it. In under a week that massive mess became a smaller mess. In a month that mess isn’t there. The only thing that really changed was changing a habit of leaving things out vs putting things back; and that makes all the difference.